Sponge bath it is.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize