If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize