I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize