I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
