the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
