...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize