The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
