So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
