dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
