I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
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Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
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She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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