I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
