I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
