WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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