Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Everything about him screamed your future.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
