Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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