I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
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