hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
