I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
