The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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