just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So here I am, sexting at work.
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