I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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