Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
