My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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