this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
