Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
