420 ftw
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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