are you still at the devil's house?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
