Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
