he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
