she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
