But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The uberlube is also flammable
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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