if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
