u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize