By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
