Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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