Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
