We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
