Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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