i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
