Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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