its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
