respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I can't put those talents on a resume
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
