I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
