i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
sex in a hospital.. check
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
