I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
