i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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