i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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