I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
that's an acceptable place to lick
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.