Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
