You just made me feel so damn special
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
