you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
