So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
