thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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