We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
